In dating and relationships, it has been always a fact that our mind and heart do not agree with each other most of the time. No matter how many times you dictate to yourself to choose your mind over your heart, and whichever won over, the failed faculty will seem to give you a reason to hold back. You start taking a step backward after getting a cold feet that what you might be deciding upon might be a wrong choice. Just like when you finally talk to a girl/guy you like for such a long time. Talking to him/her that night sent you to cloud 9, that you told yourself you definitely want to talk to her again. But then it dawned on you that he/she didn’t seem to show mutual feelings. You realized that night’s conversation with him/her may just be a casual thing for that person. You are afraid of uncertainty. Who wouldn’t right? You don’t really know that person and knowing that your interest on him/her is not enough for a happy ever ever after. That is one reason I always put things into perspective. I always give it a thought, a minute, a second, it doesn’t matter as long as it has been thought of. I, then rationalize things.
The cliche in dating are : to find true love take things slow; don’t fall for the wrong one; think about it; give it much thinking – sometimes have to be put to a stop. They are proven successful. They are already tested and have worked on some. But a lot lived in regrets and what could’ve been. And once in my life, I learned that sometimes I have to break a rule of living up a rule.
You realized that you made a rule for yourself to figure things out first before going for a home run. But remember that catching a fast pitch is going for victory, and delaying a home run is like accepting that in that arena you prefer to be a loser.
It’s always like that with the things we work on in our daily lives. We work with our heads, work with our minds and work with our gut-feelings. Sometimes, the routine gets too depressing and overwhelming. We ended up feeling slumped in one corner watching our lives walk past us.
Sometimes going out of our comfort zone is the best way we can put things into perspective how ironic it may seem, and the outcome is just too basic. If breaking that rule to get to something or achieve something has failed, you get to learn something out of it anyway and from there you will know that the formula is not right. It may not be the formula, but the circumstances and other factors that you have put to test.
Let’s take for example when it comes to getting in a relationship with somebody. If you are the kind of person who had his/her heart broken a lot of times, you’ll be the kind to be skeptical in trusting a what you think may be a potential partner. It’s different when the person is right there already but you know right then and there that he’s not you’re type, that you don’t even have to think about being with that person at all. Just by mere sound of it, you know it’s unimaginable. But when you come across somebody and seeing that person for the first time, or talking to that person for the first time, you just can’t help but feel that he might be somebody you can get along with or somebody you will really like to know. If you had been wronged by a lover a lot of times in the past, you will then remind yourself how it still hurts and how afraid you are of falling back on your face again.
So that’s where we get into breaking the rule we have for ourselves, just for one time, if you’ve been having trouble seeing somebody you like until you meet another, with that vicious cycle, you can’t just seem to get over it, why don’t you just don’t think about it and let it go? Get your butt out and explore the possibilities. If it’s going to fail, then let it be. If you will not be happy in awhile with that spur-of-moment glimpse of romance, then take a step back make an honest exit. You’ll learn in the process that you’re still in pursuit of love, and even if you haven’t fallen in love at least you know, love is not just something that you can hurry and you can feel with just anybody. That alone will give you that feeling that you are still human. You have a heart but it’s not just something that you can give away to every guy/girl you meet in any place, in any time.
Just a warning, some way or another you are going to break a heart in the process, or your heart will be broken in the process. You will be tagged as a promiscuous bitch or a jilted ass, or you’ll be frustrated again. There will always be a consequence, that’s a fact. As long as you don’t see everything as a game, you’re clean. If it was a loss for you, as long as you don’t end up sour-graping, you’re clean and still didn’t lose your head.
You might want to check out an article from Matt “Guys - Take a Chance -- Be Confident -- Meet Her”
Another one I found at www.girlsteachguys.com is “Getting Out and Meeting Women” talks about overcoming the fear of rejection
This is also from a girl Vanae in www.girlsteachguys.com “8 Tips to Kick Shyness to the Curb”
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